When Mom was diagnosed with early on-set vascular dementia in April of 2015, at the age of 53, our lives changed in ways we never imagined. It started subtly, with forgotten words and not understanding basic explanations, but soon progressed to more noticeable memory lapses and confusion. As her daughter and Power Of Attorney, I embarked on a journey filled with challenges, heartache, and moments of profound connection.
Early Signs and Diagnosis
The signs were initially subtle—a forgotten direction here, a repetitive question there. Concern grew when she couldn’t recall the names of longtime friends or navigate familiar routes. After numerous doctor visits and then finally a consultation with testing from a known cognitive specialist, the diagnosis finally came: vascular dementia, a condition caused by reduced blood flow to the brain, leading to cognitive decline.
Adjusting to New Realities
Acceptance didn’t come easily. As a family we navigated denial, grief, and fear together. Mom, always independent and strong-willed, struggled with her diminishing abilities. Simple tasks like cooking or managing finances became too much for her to manage. As her husband was still working Full-time, I juggled my roles as a care coordinator, advocate, and emotional support, learning to adapt to her changing needs with patience and understanding.
Cherished Moments of Connection
Amidst the challenges, there were moments of profound connection that I hold dear. Moments when she couldn’t verbalize but her eyes would light up when she recognized someone. Music, especially songs from over the years, became a bridge to her past, evoking emotions and sparking her to hum to the tune. Her husband was a musician and would play on piano where she would join in playing her 3 note song.
Navigating Transitions
As Mom’s condition progressed, transitions became inevitable. We modified their home for safety, her husband became full time caretaker, and simplified her daily routine. Eventually, the discussion came up to move her to a memory care facility as she was progressing to need more care. My career had been spent in nursing so I knew what we needed to look for to give her the best quality of care as she declined. Ultimately we decided to get extra help in place for my step father as he continued to care for her.
Finding Support and Strength
Support from family, friends, and support groups became invaluable. Sharing experiences with others facing similar challenges offered solace and practical advice. Wellness coaching helped me navigate the complex emotions—guilt, exhaustion, and grief—while reinforcing the importance of self-care.
Closure and Legacy
As Mom’s journey with dementia drew to a close, we focused on ensuring her comfort and dignity. Reflecting on her life, I cherished all the good memories we had—the importance of patience, unconditional love, and embracing moments of joy amidst adversity.
Honoring Her Memory
Today, memories of Mom are bittersweet. Her legacy lives on in the way she lived her life, she was self-less often and wanted to help others, through all the trials she stood through in life she truly had a servant’s heart. To honor our journey this fit into our main mission to start Family Nest North Central Florida.
My journey with Mom through vascular dementia was a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the enduring bonds of family. While the path was filled with challenges and heartache, it was also marked by moments of profound love and cherished memories. Our journey together, though difficult, ultimately taught me invaluable lessons that continue to shape who I am today.
